The Occasional Joke

YOU MIGHT BE DUTCH IF…

~ You reused plastic margarine containers long before anyone had heard of the environmental movement.

~ You have a two volume address book, Volume I: A-U & Volume II: V-Z.

~ You have never skipped church to watch the Super Bowl.

~ Your range of restaurants is restricted by the contents of a “Buy one meal, get one free” coupon book that you purchased to support missionaries in Sierra Leone.

~ Your mother’s hairdo is the same at your wedding as it was at hers.

~ Your closet is divided into work clothes and Sunday clothes.

~ Your church attendance record is not disrupted by childbirth.

~ Your Sunday routine resembles: church, coffee, roast beef, jello salad, snooze, and church.

~ You have a living room but never sit in it.

~ All your cookies taste like almonds.

~ You make the bed in your hotel room.

~ You can sing “eere zij God” even though you can’t speak Dutch.

~ You think that being progressive means discarding the church hymnbook in favor of Keith Green songs on the overhead.

~ You are still trying to justify owning a dishwasher.

~ You have attended worship services at a campground amphitheater.

~ You know what an afghan is.

~ You have lace on your windows but not on your underwear.

~ Your two permanent Saturday jobs are to wash the car and make sure you have enough single bills for the offerings.

~ All of your recipes are adapted to fit a 9 x 13 pan.

~ The usher never needs to ask you where you want to sit in church.