~ As you leave the used car lot, you see the owner rush out with a gigantic smile and high-five the salesman.
~ You notice that the car phone they threw in “for free” has a direct line to Moe’s Towing Company.
~ The booster cables are not in the trunk but are permanently soldered to the battery.
~ The hood has been equipped with a push-button device for quick and easy opening.
~ The “Purchased From” sticker at the bottom of the rear license plate has been removed.
~ You get a “Good Luck” card from the previous owner.
~ As you drive up to a service station for gas, the mechanic opens the big door and waves you in.
~ When you leave for work the next morning, you notice a tow truck parked about a block from your driveway. As you go by, it silently falls in behind you.
~ The little “Service Engine” warning signal in the dashboard comes on and reads “Me Again.”
A man was annoyed when his wife told him that a car had backed into her, damaging a fender, and that she hadn’t gotten the license number. “What kind of car was he driving?” the husband asked.
“I don’t know,” she said. “I never can tell one car from another.”
At that, the man decided the time had come for a learning course, and for the next few days, whenever they were driving, he made her name each car they passed until he was satisfied that she could recognize every make.
It worked.
About a week later she bounded in with a pleased expression on her face. “Darling,” she said. “I hit a Buick!”
My mother has a “lead foot,” so I was not surprised when a state trooper pulled us over as we were speeding through Georgia.
Hoping to get off with a warning, Mom tried to appear shocked when the trooper walked up to the car.
“I have never been stopped like this before,” she said to the officer.
“What do they usually do, ma’am,” he asked, “shoot the tires out?”
- Taken from Good Clean Fun