Well, it’s official. Chicken is no longer considered to be meat. Personally, I had suspected this for a while, and some of my co-workers have had similar feelings, but I never knew that it was official until now.
This separation between meat and chicken was found recently on the website of a very reputable organization who will remain nameless in order to protect their identity from the ensuing rush of mixed emotion on the topic. But, as can be seen by all, chicken is neither a meat nor a vegetable.
A guy comes into a coffee shop and places his order: “I want 3 flat tires & a pair of headlights”
The waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, goes to the kitchen & asks the cook, “This guy out there just ordered 3 flat tires & a pair of headlights. What does he think, this is an auto parts store?!”
“No,” the cook says, “3 flat tires means 3 pancakes & a pair of headlights is 2 eggs sunny side up.”
“Oh,” says the waitress. She thinks about this and then she spoons up a bowl of beans and gives it to the customer.
The guy says “What are the beans for?”
The waitress replies “I thought that, while you’re waiting for the flat tires & headlights, you might want to gas up.”
A guy raises his glass and toasts his blonde girlfriend. “May you be in Heaven a half-hour before the devil knows you’re dead!”
“What’s that mean?”
“That is an authentic Irish toast.”
“Oh. In that case, here’s to bread, eggs and cinnamon.”
“Bread, eggs and cinnamon? What’s that?”
“That’s French toast.”
We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the Senior Special was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99.
“Sounds good,” my wife said. “But I don’t want the eggs.”
“Then I’ll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents because you’re ordering a la carte,” the waitress warned her.
“You mean I’d have to pay more for NOT taking the eggs?” my wife asked incredulously.
“Yep” stated the waitress.
“I’ll take the special,” my wife replied.
“How do you want your eggs?”
“Raw and in the shell,” my wife replied.
She took the two eggs home.