A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to “honor thy father and thy mother,” she asked “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat one little boy answered, “Thou shall not kill.”
Funny Kid Quotes Page 3 of 3
Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, “My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem,they give him $50. The second boy says, “That’s nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.” The third boy says, “I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!”
The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a natural history lesson. “Worker ants,” she told them, “can carry pieces of food five times their own weight. What do you conclude from that?”
One child was ready with the answer: “They don’t have a union.”
A little girl was wearing one of those Medical Alert bracelets. Someone asked her what the bracelet was for. She replied, “I’m allergic to nuts and eggs.”
The person asked, “Are you allergic to cats?”
The girl said, “I don’t know. I don’t eat cats.”
My youngest son asked me how old I was.
I answered, “39 and holding.”
He thought for a moment and then asked, “And how old would you be if you let go?”
Teddy came thundering down the stairs, much to his father’s annoyance. “Teddy,” he called, “how many more times do I have I to tell you to come downstairs quietly? Now, go back upstairs and come down like a civilized human being.”
There was a silence, and Teddy reappeared in the front room.
“That’s better,” said his father, “now in future will you always come down stairs like that.”
“OK,” said Teddy. “I slid down the railing.”